Losing Frost
by JessCM09
Summary: Another ONE-SHOT. Just something I thought about when I was watching the episode where Frost dies. More of what we didn't see in the episode.
1. Chapter 1

**I have been rewatching the Series and as I began season 5 I just couldn't stop thinking about the ending of the first episode, so I just simply had to write this! I will be returning to my series now I promise!**

 **Losing Frost**

Maura was so relieved when she had heard that Jane and Korsak had found baby Brian and they were able to make an arrest. Maura was just finishing up with some final paperwork, planning on asking Jane over for a late dinner when her phone rang. Since she was still the ME on call, Maura answered the phone, taking the information down and letting them know she would be there as soon as possible.

Maura was told over the phone that it was a fatal car accident, meaning homicide wouldn't be needed, so she headed out to the scene figuring she would call Jane and invite her over when she was finished up, figuring it wouldn't take long to take care of everything. It was just supposed to be a routine car accident but what Maura found when she arrived on scene was anything but routine.

As soon as she got there Maura could tell that something was wrong, seeing it on the officers' faces as they avoided her eyes.

"Uh Dr. Isles," one of the Rookies approached, looking both nervous and upset. "There's something you should know."

"What is it?" Maura asked, pulling on her gloves as she headed towards the body; the officer following along beside her.

"Well it's just that the uh…the victim was a…he was one of us," the Rookie stuttered, surprised when Maura suddenly stopped, feeling like ice was suddenly running through her veins. "He was a…he was a Detective at BPD."

Feeling her stomach drop Maura gasped, knowing instantly who she was going to find laying there on the pavement even before she saw him. "Oh…oh no," Maura rushed over to the body, tears instantly filling her eyes as she saw Barry Frost lying still on the ground, his head covered in blood; life having already left him. "No," she shook her head, kneeling down and placing a hand on her dear friend's chest. "Barry."

"I'm so sorry Dr. Isles," Another Officer who Maura recognized, but whose name she couldn't remember approached. "I know Detective Frost was a friend of yours. I didn't know you would still be on call tonight; I would have had them warn you if I knew. Should I…would you like me to call someone else in for you?"

"Oh uh..no…no I should do this," Maura shook her head, unable to imagine leaving Barry here with anyone else. "I will…Has anyone informed Detective Frost's team?"

"Not yet," the officer shook his head. "Would you like me to…"

"I'll do it," Maura cut him off, taking a deep breath as she tried to calm her emotions. "I will…I'll call them."

Maura was left alone then, the Medical Examiner feeling like she had no idea how to do her job for the first time in her life. She knew she needed to call Jane, but she knew how hard the brunette was going to take the news. Maura was barely keeping it together as it was and she didn't want Jane to have to comfort her when she had so much going on in her own life at the moment.

It was with that thought that Maura called Korsak's phone instead, holding her breath as she waited for the older man to answer. "Kor…Korsak," she choked out when she heard her colleague's familiar voice on the other end of the line. "There was…There was an accident. Detective Frost was in an accident on his way home," she explained, trying her hardest to keep her voice steady. "I'm at the scene Sergeant and he's…Oh Korsak he's gone," her voice cracked uncontrollably. "You need…Can you come? Can you bring Jane?" She asked, quickly assured that everyone would be at the scene as soon as they could.

Though she knew there was protocol she was supposed to follow, Maura simply remained knelt down next to Frost's body, unable to do anything else at the moment. "Oh Barry I'm so sorry," she whispered. "You have been such a good friend I will…I am going to miss you terribly," she continued even though she knew her friend was no longer there to hear her. "Can I get…Can someone please bring me a blanket," she called out, suddenly wanting to cover him up before everyone else arrived; taking a few moments to control her own tears as she wanted to be strong for Jane when she got there.

When someone finally arrived with a blanket, Maura helped get Frost covered up, still remaining by his side as she heard cars approaching the scene; feeling Jane arrive before she actually saw her. Placing her hand on Frost's chest once more, Maura finally stood back up, turning around to Jane, Korsak, Frankie and Angela approaching; her best friend looking at her with wide eyes full of sadness, clearly wishing Maura would tell her that there had been some kind of mistake.

"There's nothing you can do," Maura shook her head, knowing exactly how Jane was feeling. "There's nothing you can do," she repeated, wrapping her arms around the taller woman. "He's gone."

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They remained at the scene, the five of them, Maura, Jane, Korsak, Frankie and Angela, for as long as they could. Surrounded by flashing lights and officers and everyone else working the scene, the five remained huddled together, all in various states of shock and sadness as they waited for Frost's body to eventually be moved.

It was Korsak who finally suggested they head home since there was nothing more they could do there, Angela asking Jane to come back to Maura's, not wanting her daughter to be alone. Agreeing, Jane had decided to drive back with Maura since she had arrived at the scene on her own; Korsak understanding that the two friends needed some time on their own as he told Angela that he would take her and Frankie home.

Heading back towards Maura's car, neither woman spoke, both still full of grief as they got into the vehicle. Maura's hands were shaking as she tried to put the key in the ignition, missing several time before Jane finally grabbed her wrist.

"Maura you're shaking," Jane pointed out unnecessarily, keeping a hold on her wrist. "Are you okay?"

"I'm the one who should be asking you that," Maura shook her head, her eyes blurring with tears as she met Jane's dark, brown eyes, which were full of tears of her own. "Barry… _Frost_ was your partner. You must be…"

"Frost was your friend too," Jane gave Maura's wrist a squeeze. "You don't have to do that Maura," she shook her head. "You don't have to try and minimize your own grief for me. I know you're sad too Maur."

"I just…I can't believe this," Maura slumped in her seat, allowing a tear to fall. "He was just...how could this…I never expected this," she admitted. "When I got the call I just expected a routine car accident. I was going to call to invite you over after I finished but once I got here…when I realized…"

"I'm sorry you had to do that on your own Maur," Jane said, taking the blonde's hand now. "You shouldn't have had to do that on your own. It must have been really hard."

"I just couldn't believe it," Maura replied, grateful for Jane's hand in hers. "I can't believe he's gone."

"I don't want to believe it," Jane shook her head, a tear falling down her cheek. "I don't…I'm not even sure what to do right now."

"We should go home," Maura told her, giving Jane's hand one last squeeze before releasing it, putting the key in the ignition without difficulty this time. "It has been a long day. We'll handle all of this tomorrow," she said. "For now, we just go home."

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As soon and Maura and Jane arrived back at Maura's, Angela was fussing over both of them; insisting on fixing them both a cup of tea. The trio sat together in the kitchen in silence, Angela hovering as she kept a close eye on both Jane and Maura, worried about how they were handling this whole situation.

It was late by the time Jane finally convinced Angela to retreat to the guesthouse; she and Maura making their way towards the bedrooms feeling like they were asleep on their feet.

"Could you…would you want to stay in my room with me tonight?" Maura asked when she and Jane were standing outside the guestroom. "I just…I don't really want to be alone."

"I'll be there in a few," Jane nodded, going into the guestroom to change into something more comfortable while Maura retreated to her own room to change into a pair of silk pajamas.

It was only a few minutes later that Jane knocked lightly on the door before making her way into the master bedroom, smiling as she found Maura already under the covers. Flicking off the main light, Jane dragged her feet as she made her way over and got into bed beside her friend, sighing when she finally felt the cool sheets against her legs.

"God this day has just been…"

"A nightmare?" Maura finished for the brunette, turning off the bedside lamp as they both slid down under the blankets.

"In part yes," Jane replied. "I mean it ended as a nightmare but for a minute there it seemed like it was going to end up pretty good you know? I mean we found Brian, we brought him back to his Aunt," she continued. "I thought things were pretty good and then…God…Frost."

"I know," Maura reached out under the blanket and found Jane's hand, linking their fingers together. "Part of me keeps wishing I could just wake up from all this and find that it was just a terrible nightmare."

"Yeah me too," Jane agreed. "We could wake up and Frost would be coming home from his Moms and tomorrow he would be at his desk with a grin on his face like always and none of this would have happened," she said, wishing it could all come true; willing it to be true as the pair laid in silence for several minutes. "Can I ask you a question?" She eventually asked when the silence became too much.

"Of course," Maura replied, still holding on to Jane's hand under the blankets.

"How come you called Korsak today and not me?" Jane asked, looking over to her friend, making out her features in the dark. "Earlier I mean, when you called to tell us about Frost you called Korsak and not me. Why?"

"I was worried about you," Maura admitted, still feeling worried if she was being honest with herself. "I knew how hard this was going to be on you and stress really isn't good for the baby and I just…" She paused, unsure how to really explain herself. "I couldn't tell you," she shrugged even though Jane really couldn't see her. "I just couldn't be the one to tell you. I'm sorry. I should have been."

"No," Jane squeezed Maura's hand tightly. "Don't be sorry. I get it," she shuffled closer to Maura. "Tomorrow's going to be so…how do we even go back without him there?"

"Well perhaps we should take the day off," Maura suggested even though she knew it would never happen.

"You and I both know we'll both go crazy if we do that," Jane replied, rubbing her thumb over the back of Maura's hand. "Was it awful?" She suddenly asked. "When you got to the scene I mean. Finding him like that. It must have been…I mean I can't even imagine."

"It's a risk of the job isn't it?" Maura avoided the question at first, a sure sign that she was bothered. "It's not the first time I've gotten to a scene and known the victim. It's just the first time it was someone who I was so close with. He's the closest friend I've ever lost. I don't particularly want to ever have to go through that again," she admitted. "It's rather awful."

"All of this is awful," Jane agreed, feeling Maura move even closer, their legs touching; both needing the closeness. "I miss him already you know?"

"I do," Maura nodded, unsure if either of them would get any real rest that night. "I feel it too."


	2. Part Two

**So a reader asked if I planned to continue this story to after the funeral and while I hadn't planned on writing any more for this story I couldn't stop thinking about it. So thanks VaSmurf! I hope you all like this second and final part to this little story!**

 **Part 2**

Maura had asked Jane if she wanted her to come over after Frost's funeral but the always stubborn brunette had insisted that she would be fine on her own. The funeral had been emotionally exhausting and Jane had planned on going straight to bed when she got home, until she had grabbed her mail.

Sorting through the piles of bills, Jane had eventually come across a postcard, turning it over to find a sweet message written in Frost's familiar handwriting. The emotions that Jane had been holding in all day suddenly came rushing to the surface as tears filled her eyes and she let herself fall to the ground, no longer able to hold in her sobs. After burying herself in work and holding in everything she had been feeling for the past few days, Jane could no longer manage to hold back; her sobs coming fast and hard.

Jane wasn't really sure how long she had crying when she finally grabbed her cell phone again, blindly dialing Maura's number before bringing the phone to her ear.

"Jane?" Maura picked up after only two rings, sounding slightly frantic as she obviously guessed that something was wrong. "Jane are you there? What's wrong?"

"M-Maur?" Jane managed to choke out between sobs, suddenly wanting her best friend there.

"Jane? What is it? Are you hurt?" Maura immediately asked, the sounds of her rummaging around in the background obvious.

"M-Maur can you…can you come? P-please…can you…" Jane continued to cry, struggling to get a hold of herself.

"I'm already on my way Jane," Maura replied as the sound of her car starting could be heard. "I will be there soon Jane. Do you want me to stay on the phone? I'm in the car now. I shouldn't be long but I can stay on the phone with you," she said, her worry obvious in her voice.

"No…no," Jane was shaking her head even though Maura couldn't see her. "I'm o…I will be okay…you can…you can hang up."

"Okay," Maura tried to keep her voice calm and reassuring. "Okay I will be right there Jane. I will be there so soon."

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As she drove through the streets of Boston towards Jane's apartment, Maura was extremely worried, having never heard Jane so distraught before. The Medical Examiner was worried not only about her friend but also about her baby, unsure if something had happened since the two friends had seen each other.

Driving faster than she would normally dare, Maura made it to Jane's in record time, grateful that she had a copy of the brunette's key as she rushed into the building and up to her friend's apartment. Letting herself into the apartment Maura wasn't quite sure what to expect, her heart breaking a little as her eyes wandered the room eventually landing on Jane who was sitting on the floor in front of the kitchen island, tears streaming down her face.

"Oh Jane," Maura locked the apartment door behind her, pulling her coat off and dropping her keys before quickly making her way over to her friend, getting down on the floor beside her. "It's okay Jane. It's okay," she wrapped her arms around the brunette's shoulders, pulling her close. "You're okay," the pair sat together, Maura's eyes eventually filling with tears of her own, feeling awful about her friend's heartbreak.

It was nearly ten minutes before Jane's sobs began to subside and Maura could feel the brunette beginning to calm down. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" She finally asked. "You were doing okay when I left you after the funeral."

"I found this when I got home," Jane replied, handing Maura the postcard and watching as she read it over, her eyes once again filling with tears. "I miss him so much," she said, laying her head down on Maura's shoulder. "It just doesn't feel real. How can he be gone? How did this happen?"

"It's tragic," Maura nodded, turning her head and placing a kiss on the top of Jane's head; a gesture that Jane would normally make in order to comfort her. "It's a complete tragedy and it's unfair. Barry deserved so much better, he deserved to get to live his life."

"He did," Jane agreed, reaching over and taking a hold of Maura's free hand. "I don't know how all this works without him. I don't know what to do now."

"Well I know what you need to do," Maura told her, sounding so sure that it surprised Jane who lifted her head up to get a better look at the blonde. "You need to do exactly what Barry would want you to do."

"Oh yeah?" Jane raised an eyebrow. "And what is that?"

"He would want you to keep living your life Jane," Mara replied. "He would want you…all of us to keep doing what we do because we help people and we're good at what we do. Barry would want us to keep going…for him."

"You're probably right," Jane nodded, her eyes tearing up again as she thought about Barry Frost and how much he cared about what they did; about the people they helped.

"Of course I am," Maura smiled, hugging Jane tightly to her side. "It's going to be difficult for a while I'm sure, but it will get easier. We'll all learn to cope eventually."

Nodding, Jane put her head back down on Maura's shoulder, sighing as she had a difficult time imaging this ever feeling easier. "Will you stay here tonight?" She eventually asked, not wanting to face the silence on her own.

"Of course I will Jane," Maura's response was quick and sure. "I'll stay as long as you need me to."

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Though they were both exhausted, Jane and Maura spent more than an hour on the floor, simply sitting together and occasionally discussing their favourite Frost memories, before finally making their way to Jane's room. Since she had rushed over still wearing her funeral clothes, Jane leant Maura a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, smiling when the ME came in looking completely unlike herself.

Since both friends needed the comfort they climbed in bed together on their respective sides, both shuffling slightly towards the middle of the bed so that their legs were touching just slightly. The pair chatted for a while before Maura eventually drifted off, the day's events taking a lot of energy out of her.

And while she felt like she hadn't slept in days, Jane struggled to follow Maura into dreamland, instead lying awake watching her friend sleep and thinking about everything they had been through. Maura, like Frost, was more than just a friend, she's family and Jane couldn't imagine life without the blonde. Lately Jane had felt like possibly there was more to her relationship with Maura than they had been willing to admit; both afraid of what it could do to their incredibly strong and important friendship.

"Jane?" Maura's eyes squinted open to find the brunette still watching her sleep. "What's wrong? Why are you still awake?"

"I can't…I just…I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you," Jane shook her head, her tears from earlier returning in full force. "I don't want to…I can't lose you Maura. I can't lose you too."

"Jane," Maura was suddenly awake and worried, reaching out for her friend's hands. "Jane I'm not…I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here Jane. Nothing's going to happen to me."

"You don't know that," Jane replied, the tears falling outside of her control. "Look at what happened to Frost. After everything he has survived, despite what he did for a living he was taken away just like that," she cried, her hands shaking in Maura's. "Killed in a damn accident. Just like that he's gone and it could…it could happen to any of us Maur."

"I know Jane," Maura kept her voice calm, wanting to be as reassuring as she could since her friend obviously needed her to be. "It's scary and awful but unfortunately life is unpredictable like that. Everything is going to be okay though Jane; you can't live your life worrying about what could happen. I mean you know how much I hate scenarios that begin with 'What if…'" she tried to joke.

"Losing Frost…these last couple days have just been awful; they've been a nightmare," Jane told her, her voice still shaky. "I just keep thinking…wondering if he knew how much he meant to me…if he understood how important he was."

"He knew Jane," Maura assured her, moving even closer. "Of course he knew."

"And then that keeps making me think about you and me," Jane continued as if Maura hadn't even spoken. "What if something happened to you or to me and we never…what if I never told you…"

"Jane," Maura felt frozen, her heart beating fast, certain she understood exactly what Jane was going to say. "What are you…do you…" she wasn't entirely sure what to say. "Tell me Jane. Just tell me," she leant forward so their foreheads were touching, her eyes now also stinging with tears.

"I…Maur…" Jane was unable to talk, finally leaning in and joining her lips with Maura's.

The second their lips met, both Jane and Maura felt like sparks were flying, Maura's hands quickly tangling into Jane's dark locks, while Jane quickly grabbed the blonde's hips, pulling them together as close as possible. Neither knew how long it had been when they finally pulled apart; both breathing heavily, their foreheads back together as they attempted to catch their breath.

"Maura I…" Jane began only to be cut off by Maura once again joining their lips together.

"I know Jane," Maura said once she pulled away. "I do too."

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Sleep came easy for both ladies after their kiss; both falling asleep in each other's arms, their legs intertwined. Neither stirred again until morning, Maura opening her eyes first, smiling as she came face to face with Jane, who was still sleeping peacefully. Similar to the way Jane watched her sleep the night before, Maura took a moment to observe Jane, watching the way her brow crinkled for a moment as if she was thinking, before it eventually smoothed out again as she seemed to calm down.

It wasn't long before Maura eventually began to think about what had happened between her and Jane the night before, feeling as if their kiss had been a long time in the making. Maura had been feeling more than just friendship for Jane for quite some time, but had given up any hope of anything developing between them because Jane had seemed so hung up on Casey. Maura had settled on being Jane's friend, knowing that their friendship was more important than having something more.

Maura knew that what had happened that night was partially a result of both Jane and her own heightened emotions after Frost's death, but she also knew that it was real and felt confident that it was something she and Jane would be able to explore together. As she lay there continuing to watch Jane sleep she couldn't help wondering what Frost would think of all this; whether he would be happy to have finally brought her and Jane together.

"I can hear you thinking," Jane's voice startled Maura out of her thoughts, the brunette keeping her eyes closed as she tightened her hold on the blonde.

"That's not possible," Maura replied, taking a risk as she leaned in and placed a kiss against the side of Jane's mouth, eliciting a smile from the brunette.

"Well I can _feel_ you thinking then," Jane corrected, squinting open an eye. "What's going on in that pretty head of yours?"

"I was just thinking about Barry," Maura replied, smiling when she felt Jane's arms tightened around her waist. "Do you think he would be surprised by this?" She asked. "By us I mean…about us being together."

"No," Jane's rely was quick, the brunette chuckling lightly when she saw the surprised look on Maura's face. "Frost knew how I felt about you, I actually think he figured it out before I really admitted it to myself," she explained. "He gave me such a hard time when I got back together with Casey; said I was wasting my time with Casey because I clearly belonged with you."

"You and Barry talked about me?" Maura was surprised, feeling her heart swell as she thought about the fact that Frost had believed that she and Jane belonged together.

"He caught me watching you once," Jane told her, her cheeks reddening slightly. "It was a few years ago and we were at the Dirty Robber and you got up to go to the bar or something and I must have been watching you because all of a sudden Frost is asking me when I'm finally going to ask you out," she explained. "I didn't see any point in trying to deny anything but I told him that you were my best friend and I never wanted to do anything to ruin that. He tried to convince me since then that I should give us a chance, but I never listened to him. I feel like he'd be pretty happy to see us now," she said, reaching up and tucking Maura's hair behind her ear.

"How do you feel about it now?" Maura asked, slightly worried that she wouldn't be able to go back now even if Jane asked her to. "About us I mean. Do you feel okay about this now?"

"I miss Frost," Jane replied, taking Maura's hands in hers. "I miss him and I'm sad, but this," she squeezed Maura's hand. "This gives me hope that everything will be okay," she told her. "Because I think you and I can make it Maur. This right here…this is just the beginning."


End file.
